Still Going

I’m three weeks into my routine and…I’m still going. In fact, I feel my momentum picking up. Now, I have to tell you…Keith ain’t no joke. There were some mornings I woke up throughout the last three weeks and tried to come up with every excuse in the book not to show up for my sessions. But my bed couldn’t hold me.

Last week he added cowbells to my workout. BJ, his wife, said, “Girl, you are going to be sore after this.” To myself, I thought, how much more SORE could I be?

Why did I ask that?

I woke up the next day feeling like someone had run me over. It hurt to do everything. Sit down. Stand up. Move. Blink. Needless to say, I came up with some….nice…names for Mr. Keith after that workout.

But the fact of the matter is, it is a good hurt. It means I’m getting there. And that feels fabulous. I have to admit that my walk has changed a little. I got my little strut going. Twisting a little bit more. You know how it is. And, most importantly, this week, I put on a skirt that I hadn’t worn since I started working out three weeks ago and I had some wiggle room! I can not describe for you the high that I had for the day.

It was the energy I needed to keep pushing. One thing that exercise does for me is it helps me to make wise choices about what I put into my body. When I think of how much passion and energy I am putting into getting sculpted, I can’t possibly offset my progress by eating junk or missing a workout.

I think exercise is my new drug. I just might be a junkie. It has definitely been a stress reliever. Keith will tell you…there are times I show up in the morning and I am in the zone the whole time. My grandmother is very ill, things on my job are strained, the release of my book is looming…it has been a challenging time. But I am pressing because I am going somewhere and when I get there…..

I am going to be fine as HELL!



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As Long As the Nile...

I was wondering
if I ever crossed ur mind
from time to time
but rather than impose
I just prayed for u
Hoped u were happy
Watched and wondered
Remembered and refrained
Do ur ears itch often
Cause I always speak ur name
Think ur name
I miss my friend
But I hope ur happy
And I wish u well
No malice
No hard feelings
Just love

Thank you...I needed that.



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Reminisce Over You...

I have a good memory. Surprisingly. (I smoked ALOT of weed. lol) I have memories of events that took place when I was as young as six years old. I remember the licking my grandmother gave me when I was about 7 for setting my Aunt Cookie's bed on fire. I remember THAT just like it was yesterday. VIVID. I remember the first time I went fishing with my father at about 8. I wanted to cast the line out by myself even though I had no idea what I was doing. I ended up getting the hook with the worm still attached to it caught in his afro. He never took me fishing again. I remember the first time I kissed a boy. Byron Morgan; outside of the auditorium at Lincoln Middle School. He wrote me a very sweet letter with red heart stickies all over it thanking me for the kiss and I kept it. Unfortunately, my mother found it and I surely remember the beating I got for "being fast."

But there are three days that stand out for me.

September 15, 1989 - After 14 hours of labor, and a tedious, medication-free delivery, Brittany, the Blessed One, came here weighing in at a mere 6lbs 3oz.

December 16, 1990 - After 16 hours of labor, and an emergency C-section, Brandon, the Intellectual, entered this world weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 3oz.

February 5, 1992 - After a mad dash to the hospital in Washington DC rush hour traffic, one bottle of castor oil and 9 hours of labor, the Unique One, Britorria showed up weighing in at 7lbs 12oz.

I may forget alot of things, people and events. But I will never forget the days my kids came into the world. No matter the circumstance, or how long or hard the deliveries were, nothing can replace the feeling of looking into your childs' face for the first time. Their faces have filled out considerably since those days, but when I look at them, I still see them like I did when I saw them for the first time. Sometimes I eish I could still cuddle and kiss them like I did when they were little. There are fleeting moments when I wish I'd had a video camera to document, first words and first steps.

But I guess I will have to rely on my memory...as long as it doesn't fail me...when I want to reminisce over them.



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I Think I Can...I Think I Can...

I got up with a little less enthusiasm this morning. Just a little. I am still focused on the end result. Begin with the end in mind. I am going somewhere with this workout thing. It isn't a fad or passing fancy. This is not fly-by-night. I am committed to perfecting my self image. Mind right, body tight. So, I spent New Year's Day lounging and relaxing with my kids. I ate sensibly, but I didn't exercise. Well, unless you count the 6 or 7 times I went up and down the steps inside my home. I went to bed early and got up without hitting the snooze button. Because I already had my clothes and everything laid out, I was up and out of the house in no time. On my way out the door, I wondered what my kids were thinking about all this? I do want them to be proud of me. The morning chill stalled me a little bit. I hate to be cold. But nevertheless, I arrived at Keith and BJ's at 6:30 on the nose. I have become quite the stickler about time. It absolutely pisses me off when I am late at someone elses expense or when I have to wait on someone.

Today we worked out inside. Hallelujah. I was so glad. At first. That is, before the 75 crunches and situps. Before the leg lifts that took me back to high school PE. By the time we got to them, it was all I could do but focus on the track lighting hanging over my head and pray for the strength to hold out.

I think I can .... I think I can...

Everytime I wanted to quit, I thought about where I am going and how good it is going to feel when I get there. How much confidence I will have in myself and my art. How easy it will be to convey my message and give my testimony when I am 100% comfortable in my skin. I am a living witness, my body a sanctuary, a temple.

Keith and BJ have committed to show me how to become a masterpiece. And I have committed to the concept of change. No matter how difficult.

I think I can..I think I can...I think I can....



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