Coochie Talks

Coochie Talks
Current mood: amused


Why y’all ain’t let a sista know that the price of coochie was going up? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Gas prices are through the roof. Stock market done crashed a couple times. Milk is $4.00 a gallon. Seems the only natural thing. Ho’s got to eat too. I watched in awe, with my mouth hung open at the drama that unfolded for New York’s Governor. Maybe not for the same reasons as the rest of the world. It wasn’t because he got caught in a prostitution ring. Or because he was exposed as a hypocrite for his actions. None of those things came as a shock. Powerful men have always paid for sex. I just couldn’t believe that old girl got $4300.00 for one freaking hour.



She must have the bomb digga. I mean it must do tricks. It probably has it’s own carrying case. I mean, after all, coochie that expensive should be carefully packaged. Don’t want to damage it in the transition of travel. I wonder if it is insured?


Whatever. I ain’t mad at the ho. (It is ok to call her that if that’s what she is, right?) In fact, I’m standing up right now and giving her and her high-priced nook a standing ovation. Because women from DC to Miami, California to Maine are on their backs nightly and ain’t getting a damn thing but excuses and promises. Do your thing Lil Mamma!!! Make that Money.



Ho’s all over the nation ought to be on notice. Stop under cutting the coochie. Raise your "price." Better yet, raise your standards cause only quality men can even be in the same room with quality coochie. Oh yeah. I’m re-thinking this thing. Hell, if she getting $4300.00 to use it, then my meter begins to run the moment I show up with it. That’s right. I feel like if I show up, and she’s with me, the meter is already running. My mom used to say it was powerful. But I had no idea.



Funny thing is…they had an "expert ho" on the Today Show this morning speaking on the behalf of other high priced ho’s. Shaking my head. How do you get to be an expert in such things?



Anyway….the expert says that the price is not just for the sex itself, but for the conversation, etc. Ok. So was he talking with her or her coochie? Cause it was worth that much if it talks. I mean, really. Imagine the idea. I’m sure men all over America would pay for a real one that could speak.



Wonder what it would be like if Coochie could Talk…

This just in...

in an amazing turn of events

Coochie all over America has begun to speak up for itself"I’m tired of not getting what I’m worth. You just don’t know how I feel." - Coochie Woods, Reston VA

"I ain’t never been so undervalued in all my life. I feel so cheap and worthless." –

Coochie Brown, Jacksonville, FL.

"Anybody know where I can find a good attorney? I feel violated." – Coochie Washington, Newburgh, NY.

In a seperate, but somewhat connected incident, a young woman in Buffalo, NY suffered a heart attack in her gynecologists office when, while being examined, her coochie unexpectedly began to speak to the doctor, causing him to pass out, hit his head and fall into a coma.



No one knows as of yet, what Coochie had to say.





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