The Last Straw

Been missing in action for a minute. Though my intention is to write consistently, sometimes the circumstances of my existence pull me off in so my directions, I don't do it. My grandmother has been here for the past few weeks and she is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. I'm trying, sometimes unsuccessfully to cope with that. My youngest has decided she wants to live with her father in Washington, DC. I'm trying to digest that. The environment on my job fluctuates wildly and swings like a pendulum from day to day. Each day, mentally, I write another page in this autobiography, not really knowing how the next word, sentence or chapter will unfold. The most recent chapter in my life has been my son and daughters high school graduation. I made it through. Didn't fall out, get arrested or breakdown. I was so happy and blessed to see them march across the stage. You can't imagine the sense of pride I felt.

MY graduation.

Not just their freedom, but MINE. Now I can finally DO ME. Get a life. Get a Man, perhaps. Exhale. I sure am ready to change lanes and I felt that I had been preparing them for this moment. Teaching them how to cook, wash their clothes..'yes ma'am' and 'no sir'. I want them to be able to survive with me and withot me. But they graduated and it just don't seem like they are moving fast enough.

I get up in the morning to go to work and leave them in the bed. I come home and they are planted like trees in front of the television or the computer. Dishes in the sink. Won't take the trash out. What the ??? Who are these people??

Because I am dealing with so many different things, I have to choose my battles wisely. So instead of losing my cool, I hadn't been saying anything.

But the other day I came home and I had to pee real bad. I made a mad dash out of the car, down the side walk, through the front door and to the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me, threw my pocketbook on the floor, wiggled out my skirt and happened to turn around and look down at the toilet seat and there, slap dab in the middle of the toilet seat was a dingleberry.

Aww hell naw!!!

So as bad as I have to pee, before I can even do that, I have to clean the toilet seat off. Somebody else's crap. I'm doing the "gotta pee dance", got pee running down my leg and I am madder then a junkyard dog. I was like, "That's it!" They have to go!!! I might be able to overlook the dishes in the sink. It may piss me off, but I can even give you a pass on the trash can overflowing.

But when I have to clean up your crap, before I can do my crap?? That is the last straw. I went off. I mean, how do you do that? My bathroom ain't that big. I mean, after you washed your hands (assuming you did so) and turned to leave, how could not notice your own mess? Didn't you see it? So...what? You just leave it there... for who? The Maid? I hate a nasty bathroom. The bathroom and the kitchen should always be clean, regardless. They know that.

After I had time to reflect on it, I realize it was bigger than doo doo stains on a toilet seat. It is more about accountability. They are so comfortable in their relationship with me, they feel like no matter what, momma's got it. To a certain degree, that is correct.

But NOT as it relates to cleaning up after them. All the more reason for me to push them out of the nest. The line has to drawn somewhere and even though it was a crude way for me to wake up and realize that I need my space, it was necessary.

I get grief from my religious friends because I frequently tell them that I "own my ****." (I love God, but I still curse sometimes.) By saying that what I mean is I am accountable for what I do or have done. No need in putting it off on someone else, or hoping someone else will own it for me. If it's mine, it's mine.

Well, here is life lesson #305 for my newly graduated young adults who are on their way out of my house: I love you. I will always be here for you and want the best for you. But the time has come for our relationship to change. But before you go, let Momma give you a few words of advice: 1. Put God first. 2. Say please and thank you. 3. Never quit one job before you have another. 4. Choose your friends like you choose your fruit. And last, but not least... OWN YOUR ****!



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