I've gotten close to one of the foster youth that volunteers at my job. I communicate with all of them on some level, but Marcus is different. I don't know the details of his story. I just know he and his brother ended up in foster care. At 21, he's already been so many places and seen so many things, my heart goes out to him. I mean, I have had my share of lumps just like the next person, but I can't imagine growing up in foster care. The system can't love you like a mother, teach you like a father. So I find myself constantly playing the role of big sister, or li'l mamma. There's something about Marcus I can't quite put my finger on. Sometimes he'll call me just to talk and last night was one of the rare occasions that I wasn't sleeping. He didn't have anything particular to discuss, so I just listened as he told me about his relationship with yet another female. "Why doesn't it work out," he whined. I wish he could have seen me shaking my head at him. It's not like we haven't had this conversation before. "Because Marcus," I had to take a deep breath, "you are starting out from the bottom to the top instead of going top to bottom."
If you start your relationship between someone's legs, it's bound to run it's course quickly. What else will you guys have to do? I suggested he try getting to know someone from the top to the bottom. Most likely by the time he made his way half way down, one or the other party will have lost interest. Start by getting to know their mind. This is time consuming, no way you can have a one night stand if you're delving into their thought process. If you like that, begin to look into their eyes; eyes are the window to the soul. I don't mean just stare blankly into their eyes. I mean find out who or what they are connected to. If you like what you find there, move on to the mouth. What kind of conversation do they have? If you make it this far, you are doing real good and you could possibly have a good catch. I had to learn all of this the hard way. I guess that's why God continues to place me around young people. As often as I can break it down to them, I can, I will and I do. They need to start teaching common sense in school. Sex education is not enough. I remember when I was in high school, we had a class called life management skills. It should be something along the lines of that class, just tailor made for the children of this day and age. Loving from the bottom to the top got me three babies before I had even had or knew what an orgasm was. Loving from the bottom to the top got my heart broke and my head split. Loving from the top to the bottom ain't easy by a long shot. But it is much less complicated.
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