When I was a little girl I hated going to bed at night. I would fight sleep with all my might because I knew that along with sleep came darkness and nightmares. I would make sure that my bed was pushed all the way against the wall and sleep as close to the wall as I could, just in case the Boogeyman was under my bed. I would see what I now know were spirits floating in the air towards me and because of this spent the whole night with my head under the covers. Many nights I would sneak into my aunt Penny's room and sleep on her floor because they seemed not to bother me when someone else was around. I bring this up because I realized today that in some ways, I am still very much afraid of darkness. Not the darkness that envelopes you while sleeping. But the darkness of traveling through a valley of unknown spiritual terrain. Oddly enough, God does his best work there. I saw a sign one day that read "God is in the dark room developing my positives into negatives." It stuck with me and I know that it was His way of helping me to understand this process. "Trust me," He says. I can't see my way through and it is scary to have my eyes wide open and still not know where I am going. I feel like I am fumbling around in the dark searching for a light switch that isn't to be found. And there are times that it seems like the Boogeyman is hot on my trail, breathing down my neck. He is teaching me how to use my third eye, trust not only in Him, but my own intuition as well. I write about this even though I know not everyone can fully understand what I am talking about. It is definitely something you have to go through alone. Funny thing, as much as I am afraid of this darkness, I am just as apprehensive about the light. One of these days the light is going to chase away this darkness that surrounds me and I will be exposed for all the world to see. I just hope I am ready.
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